rate changes

I’ve been charging (or rather, I’ve been being paid) $100/hour for the 6 hours of training I provide. I tried to raise that rate for the training I did in September. The Board of Ordained Ministry voted it down. I’m trying again. I honestly think that $200/hour for the 6 hours of training (plus all the consulting and counseling I do for the 24-36 hours I’m onsite) is fair. Well, that’s not quite true. I think it is quite unfair. Most people in this field get several thousand dollars for a weekend of their time and counsel. But, baby steps. We’ll see if I get paid based on my invoice or if they vote it down again this go ’round. It’s hard not to resent the BOM when they keep screwing me out of an income.

money matters

I spent too much in Target this morning. I got a couple of cute things for the children: little pails to put candy in for Valentine’s Day (I’m still cheap enough that I’m going to re-use the same candy they got in their stockings at Christmas that I socked away) and some cute colored silverware with grippers on them. Oh and some scrapbooking papers for me that were on clearance. sigh. The problem with being “comfortable” financially is that I let myself do that now – spend on the kids. It’s not much – I probably only spent $10 on them, but I’m still in a transition from a state of “only buy what we need” to “ok, we can get a few things we just want.” It’s nice, and I probably don’t do it to the tune of more than $25-30/month, but it’s still weird. It still represents a completely different mindset than I’ve been in, oh, my whole life.

insurance and medication

Zyrtec, K’s daily allergy medication, has gone OTC, and insurance won’t cover it anymore. So, I’m trying to use the coupons which Zyrtec is issuing all over the place in order to get enough of the stuff to cover us for a few months. K’s been using chewable tablets, but I’m going to make her go back to the syrup, which is a better deal. I spent a lot of time with a pharmacist this morning comparing dosage amounts and figuring out how long a bottle would last, etc. Using the coupons and taking advantage of the fact that the stuff is on sale ($9.99 instead of $12.99), I wound up getting 2 months worth of liquid medicine for $12, which is good, considering that with insurance, it has been costing us $10/month for the tablets.

new shoes

I bought K new shoes today. I had gotten her new shoes right before Kindergarten started, at the end of last August. Her old shoes were blue with silver glittery stripes. I got them at Target. Today we went to the mall. To Stride Rite. K hasn’t always had Stride Rite tennis shoes. She learned to walk either being barefoot or in Robeez soft leather shoes. Then we went through a Baby Gap phase, where I got cute canvas shoes with two velcro straps for her about every 6 months or so. They weren’t really all that well-made, but they lasted long enough for her to grow into the next size. Then, when she started wearing out those shoes quickly, I started buying the Stride Rite shoes for her. They are so well-made. Heck, E has been wearing K’s old Stride Rites. I bought a bunch of them when a store near where we used to live went out of business. But I had run out of those shoes – or, more accurately, K had outgrown all the sizes I had bought. So, we went with the Target shoes last summer. Here we are only 5 months later and they have holes in them. In the top and sides of them! K is not that hard on shoes either. So, enough of the cheap shoes. Back to the well-made, last-until-you-outgrow-them shoes. I paid full price for them ($35), but that’s okay. She really needed new shoes. Besides, one of the reasons I bargain shop at grocery and drug stores on a regular basis is so that I don’t have to worry when I wind up having to pay full price for something.

making history, the first step

It breaks my heart that John Edwards had to leave the presidential race. However it does make it look like the Democratic Party will make history by nominating someone other than a white male for president, an idea whose time has certainly come. Whether or not a non-white male becomes President of the United States, this election will be historic in the life of our country. I’m glad I’ve lived long enough to see that.

emotional recovery

Last night I returned from teaching the clergy sexual ethics training that my regional body of our denomination requires of all pastors. It is always an intense experience as the topic brings up many emotions as well as past experiences for participants. This year’s class was particularly stressful. I had a person realize during my explanations of what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior for clergy, that he had breeched a confidentiality. He told me about it during one of our breaks and we talked about reconciliation and what that might entail. Later in the day he shared with me exactly how he had handled it; feeling like it was too important to wait until the retreat was over and he returned home, he handled it over the phone. He was well received and I was thankful he had addressed it right away. Another pastor told me of her sexual assault many years ago. One other pastor is going through a divorce. After having the courage to leave an abusive husband who also abused her children, she told her supervisor who told her he thought there was still room for reconciliation and that she needed to return to her husband. Another pastor is following a clergywoman who victimized members of the congregation in a wide variety of ways, including fiscal misconduct. And there were more. More self-disclosures, more “a-ha moments” where someone realizes that either they were a victim or a perpetrator, more sharing, more self-doubt, more fear. Oh the pain, the anguish, the violations of boundaries, the misuse of power and role…There is so much that needs to change about the ministry and the very human beings who work and lead within it. I am spent. My heart is worn out. My body is tired. My voice hurts. I’m pretty good at this stuff; I know how to “put people back together again” for the most part. I can do long-term healing (support groups), but I specialize in handling moments of crisis related to deep interpersonal trauma (survivors of rape, incest, assault, abuse, etc.) as well as tragic corporate trauma (survivors of genocide, for example). But it takes a lot out of me to do that. I was reminded that there is a very good reason I am not in crisis counseling or on the front lines of this issue anymore, especially while I have very small children who already drain me daily.

money in the mail

Wow, money back from the government? Let’s see, how will we use the almost two grand that may come our way? Hmmm…yep, I think it’ll be savings all the way.

sales

oh how I do love the January sales! This morning I got PJs at TCP for $4.99/set. I got matching ones for K & E for Christmas of 2009 (size 4 and and then got another set for E for whenever he will wear a size 6/6x. They have their fleece jackets on sale for $4.99, too, so I got one for K for next winter. I also got her a white cardigan (also $4.99), so with the puffy coats on clearance at ON the other week, we are all set for outerwear for next year. and all for so darn cheap! I mean, five bucks for PJs — seriously, you can’t beat that deal.

sleep

So yesterday I just didn’t put E down for his nap. He went right to sleep at 7:30 and slept until 7:00am this morning. Maybe he’s really ready to give up his nap after all.

measuring

E got on the bathroom scales this morning and said, “look mommy, I’m 64 degrees!”